The Guide To Self Love – Without Spending Any Money
Self Love has become a phenomenon. It is good but the Self Love phenomenon I am talking about is encircled around the idea of convincing you to buy something so that you feel complete, happy and more over, validated.
When I started talking to people through YouTube and Instagram around two years ago, I myself was so much into the “Idea” of Self Love, without even fully understanding what it is and how I needed to actually make ways which could help me grow as a person.
At the same time the vast majority, well let’s face it, all the media platforms are filled with the false images and the ideas of Self Love and they only lead us towards spending money on something we don’t actually need and we don’t even understand this gimmick.
We just see people telling us “Hey, get this massage because #selflove or “Hey you, buy these pairs of ridiculously expensive pairs of shoes” and why ? because “You Love Yourself”…Right???
Well I think you got the idea of what I am talking about here so now I am gonna stop whining and here are the things I feel will take you a little bit more closer towards Self Love.
1. Financial Stability
When your financial affairs are in order you have the freedom and ability to focus on your growth. You are no longer depend on someone’s mercy to start your own side hustle and pay your bills. Providing yourself with dignity and financial Independence will set the tune of your mindset towards your growth. Take responsibility for managing your income and expenses and start learning about budgeting. Search for cheaper options, take help from people already doing it, invest small amount of money every month and make the foundation of your Self Love more strong with each day passing by.
2. Being Responsible For Your Health
We just talked about wealth but that is of no use when you can not have the health that you need to make everything else possible and enjoy your time. Don’t exhaust yourself while working in office or on household chores. You need a break every now and then. Read about nutrition, walk a little bit extra every day, have routine health and dental checkups (including sessions with your gynecologist ladies). I personally started getting full body health checkups twice or thrice in a year. Eat well and mindfully.
3. Setting Boundaries
Let no one pressurise you to do things you don’t feel ok with. Set some boundaries and learn to say no as only you are responsible for the decisions you make. Only you understand your needs best. These boundaries are both emotional and physical. If you don’t feel okay with the indirect mental abuse from a friend or your partner then just excuse yourself as you need not to deal with other people’s trauma. Don’t let your neighbour shame you for gaining few kilos time and again. Pass on your message directly and do not accept any negativity. Trust me. Once you set your boundaries and say no to the things you aren’t comfortable with, you will start seeing that your life is a bit more easy now because all the stupid people who were taking advantage of your polite behaviour are now looking for someone else to fool around.
4. Cut Off Toxic People
I could have merged this point with the one above but I didn’t. Reason is simple that saying no and cutting off people are two different things and this one needs more courage. Simply cut off the toxic people who don’t respect you as a person and dont leave you alone either. I once had a friendship for twelve years. But at one point I realised that we both are being toxic for each other. Our values were different and we wanted different things so finally she and I said goodbye to each other. I was afraid of being without a best-friend and being all alone but nothing happened of that sort. When we are hurt from the outside world we start looking inside and that’s what I did. I started looking for who I am and What I want. Few months later I found new people who became close to my heart and can be put in best friend’s category but above all, I am my own best friend now. So think about it and try to get rid of the toxicity.
5. To Be Able To Enjoy Your Own Company
I can not talk enough about it. Once I cut myself from the cords of negativity and self sabotage, I started acknowledging my own needs and wants and that allowed me to spend more and more time with my own self. To my surprise I am a really interesting person to be with. I started exploring myself and I felt less and less need to be with someone else to feel happy.
6. Connect With Someone Who Adds Value To Your Life
This one needs no explanation. Just surround yourself with the people who teach you to add value to your life by living them. Look for people with whom you feel easy, connect with those who are less judgemental, more productive and with whom you can be who you really are.
7. Clear Life Intentions (Not Goals)
Goals have a timeline and a deadline to be a reality and goals are a totally different thing from Intentions. Intentions are shaped by your core values and belief systems. Set intentions for what kind of legacy you want to leave. Acknowledge what you truly believe in and figure out what kind of a person you want to be. Set intentions and work on them.
8. Declutter and Live Mindfully
Physical and mental clutter distracts you from focusing on what actually has meaning in life. The more you are surrounded by stuff and thoughts which are not serving you any more, the more agitated and restless you will feel. Give away the things you actually don’t need and haven’t used in a while. Buy less and quality stuff. Do not give energy to the thoughts that have no relevance whatsoever with your current reality. Live more and more mindfully.
9. Do Not Settle For Less
You wont forgive yourself in the long run if you will settle for less in anything in your life. Work to be the right person to achieve things and relationships that you truly desire. Don’t just settle for less because you are afraid of working on yourself. Whatever you desire is there and can be achieved but the catch is you must and must understand that you are worthy of it and you deserve this.
10. Be Grateful
Be grateful for what you already have because being grateful pays back and universe gives you more of what you appreciate. It also entrusts you with a sense of composure and brings consistency in whatever you do. And by doing anything with consistency you will be able to fulfil your dreams a little earlier and that will reflect true self love you have inside.
Journaling is equal to therapy. You must have noticed that whenever you have a problem and you talk about it with your friend then in course of telling your situation, you actually get to know the answer even before your friend responds to it. Journaling works as the same. When you write down your current emotions and how does it feels, you actually see a picture of the origin of your problem and the possible ways out in your mind. It provides you with catharsis. You feel relaxed and sorted and are ready for the next quest life puts you through.
12. Read More
Journaling let’s you know who you are and reading let’s you know what the outer world is. Read whenever you can or listen to e-books while commuting or even cooking and doing household chores. In my opinion even the most pathetic book teaches you about the ways you can sound pathetic and you can avoid them. So this is simple, READ MORE.
Travel challenges you, gives you contrast to grow, it puts you through situations you never anticipated. You get to know the air and soil of a different place, you see a different culture, you experience different food, you meet new people who have their own stories and sometimes these stories resemble one of your own. Travel with friends or family and if possible at least travel solo once in your lifetime. While writing this post I am myself getting prepared for my second solo trip so you can understand how important it has become for me. When you travel solo to some place, there is no one who knows you and then you get to know yourself a little bit more.
14. Judge Less, Understand More
Being judgmental is easy but putting yourself in the other person’s shoe will make you realise that you could have done worse in the same situation. At the same time when you judge less, you are able to focus on the positive of that person and that can teach you a different aspect of life every now and then.
15. Be Kind Towards Yourself
This last one is the most important among all. You have to be kind to yourself to follow any other thing in life. We all make mistakes and we all are imperfect in our own original ways but that does not mean that you punish yourself for being stupid. Accept your mistakes, learn a lesson, and let go. Embrace what new is coming in life and cherish every moment while you can.
So if you genuinely follow these 15 step approach to self love, I promise, it will change your life for good. Do leave a comment if you are feeling connected to this page.
Note : please excuse grammatical errors or spelling mistakes in my posts. Just focus on the message that is what the most important thing is. But if you notice anything and you think it needs to be corrected just email me on [email protected] I will be forever thankful.